Confucius Say... Way Too Much
For the episode's transcript, click here. Confucious Say... Way Too Much is the fourth episode of Time Squad, as well as the fourth episode of the first season. Plot When people won't read the Chinese philosopher Confucius' teachings based on their length, the Time Squad helps him come up with shorter bits of wisdom. Synopsis On the satellite, Otto and Tuddrussel are getting ready to eat. Tuddrussel loses his temper with the microwave and beats it, making Larry upset. Larry tries to comfort the cracked microwave when the Instability Alarm goes off. When Otto sees their next mission is Confucius, he gets excited and talks about how Confucius' teachings have affected Asian civilizations. Tuddrussel is bored and says he doesn't like smart historical people. The team arrives in ancient China, right outside of Confucius' book shop. Confucius is excited to see them all and asks if they want to buy a book. Otto says they are just browsing, and Confucius laments that he writes about wisdom, but nobody ever wants to buy his books. Larry tries to lift a large book, but it falls, cracking the ground, adding more emphasis as to why the books aren't popular. Trying to sell Larry the book, Confucius says he can read the book before they buy it. He reads the entire book but discovers that the team has fallen asleep by the time he finishes. When they all wake up, Confucius makes a simplified moral of the story for them, that "He who knows nothing, doubts nothing", and Larry says they will come back later. Otto and Larry start discussing what to do to get Confucius to shorten his books while Tuddrussel contemplates the moral of Confucius' story. Tuddrussel decides that Confucius was insulting him by means of his moral, and insists that he can take care of Confucius himself. Otto and Larry head off to get egg rolls. Off screen, we can hear Tuddrussel confront Confucius and beat him up. Later, Tuddrussel meets up with Otto and Larry. He tells them that he finished their mission, but Larry notices Confucius in his shop with a sign saying the books are doubled in size. Angry, Tuddrussel says that Confucius didn't understand the lesson the first time, and goes to beat him up again. Otto tries to stop him, but ends up going with Larry to buy fireworks. When Otto and Larry have returned, they see that Confucius' sign says he has written more words than ever in his books. After finding out that Tuddrussel didn’t actually talk to him about shortening his books, Otto goes to talk to Confucius, but when he does, the old man is so beaten up and paranoid that he jumps and hides. Otto asks Confucius to shorten his books into little phrases, and Confucius accepts, now too terrified to displease Otto and his friends. Later, a line of people is seen leading to Confucius' shop. Confucius' sayings have become very popular, and are written on various household items. Confucius thanks Time Squad for their advice and their "horrible bully," and Tuddrussel gives him a final threat before leaving. Trivia * This is the first episode where Larry insults Tuddrussel for acting and smelling like a monkey. This would happen again in the episode "A Thrilla at Attila's". *The earliest documentation of fireworks was actually the 9th century Tang Dynasty. The year the episode took place in, fireworks didn't exist yet. Gallery